Thursday 19 January 2017

TH Thursday...

THinking, THinking, THinking...

THinking THoughts, and being THankful on THursdays.

Wishing this was easier today, but here goes.

What is something that was hard to do but you did it anyway?
Oh boy, this one's a zinger, where to start?
First, I have so many friends who have either lost one of their parents, or both, and would do anything to see them and be with them again. I've got both my parents and we're not speaking. It feels like they're gone already.
The reason on my part - I'm tired of them disrespecting my DH and now our three boys. Making up stories and telling me that the boys and I can come visit them, but don't bring DH. Taking the phone off the hook for several days so the Gmen couldn't thank them for the birthday gift they received, and not responding to their email when that was the only way to get a hold of them. Having a friend from out of the country come pay them a visit and encouraging her not to contact me even though they're only two hours away. The final kicker was not acknowledging Nathan's 10th birthday. Their grandson's 10th birthday, what the heck did he do to them? There are so many other things that have happened throughout the years, but basically adds up to the control they (really, he) tries to have over me and others.
I've tried to separate my disassociation with them from the boys, asking them if they'd like to call or send an email for birthdays or holidays, and they all say, no. How sad. Nathan said they probably have the phone off the hook anyway. (This is not a new thing.)
So the hardest thing I had to do but did it anyway? Deciding not having any contract with my parents. I Know that I don't deserve to be treated like that and neither does my family.
On a positive note, I am thankful for my friends, who I consider my other family. The ones who are there for me, no matter what.

15 comments:

Linda said...

I'm sorry Astrid. My daughter hasn't talked to me in over a year nor have I seen the grandkids. I figure its her loss.

Linda

Jan said...

If they don't want to know how great their grandsons are then that is their loss.

Barb said...

there are so many definitions of what makes a family. Your parents are beyond my understanding. My relationship with my grand children is something that I treasure. It is their loss for sure. Your boys are doing just fine with a wonderful "family".

Lorraine said...

That is a hard one. My husband's brother disassociated himself and his wife and kids from the rest of the family. I don't mind that they don't want to have anything to do with us, but I will never forgive them for not even responding to the invitation to our son's wedding. You can hurt me, but don't hurt my children. Family is not always by blood - family is the people who care about you because they want to, not because they have to.

Debbie W. said...

What a sad thing to have happen to a family, but it surely must be better to break away from that unhealthy relationship. What's the old saying - You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family? ;)

Katie said...

We have had to make the same decision with my husband's family. It's a very hard decision to make but no one needs negativity in their lives. Nathan doesn't deserve this "family" anyway. That's not what family is. Family should support you no matter what in my opinion. So sorry for the pain I know you are feeling though. It's probably easier than the pain of being friends with them.

Vickie said...

Oh Astrid. I am so very, very sorry. We had to stay separated from my father for different reasons for many, many years. I hope and pray this is not the case with you. Keep an open heart dear. I do understand. I do know. We only have one mom and one dad.

DJ said...

*Hugs* I know how hard that decision was. I don't understand them when those who know you, know what a kind, generous, and loving person you are. You do have wonderful friends who care about you, and your boys and husband are supportive too. Hang in there...*huge hugs*

deb said...

Many hugs to you, dear Astrid. Painfully hard decision but you need to do what's right for your family and it certainly sounds like you've done that!

I love your THursday posts, though I tend to get stuck on the thinking part and not get around to the sharing.

Bea said...

That is so hard, but you can't 'fix' them, so you must protect yourself and your family. Such a hard, hard choice to make.

Maggee said...

Family is not easy. I have not heard from my two older siblings in years. Didn't have a fight or anything, but they have both always displayed superior attitudes towards me and my younger sister. That is foolishness, because RICHES and LIFE are fleeting, but that is a lesson they will eventually learn. I hope that your parents realize how much they are missing, and reconcile with you very soon! Big Hugs!

Julie said...

{{hugs}} Astrid, there was a time when this sort of thing affected my family too. xx

Justine said...

Hugs for you Astrid. So sorry to read this. What a hard decision to have to make.

Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

I'm so sorry to read this, why are some people like this? If they disliked your husband, they've had long enough to get used to him and see what a great Dad he is!
You should go to an old folks home and adopt a Granny. I am sure there is an old lady somewhere who would love to be Nathan's granny. I'm too young, I'll be his English Auntie!
(((hugs)))

Kaisievic said...

Oh Astrid, how brave you are to write this post - I admire you. It is so hard when your family, who are supposed to love and support you, no matter what, do not do the right thing. But it sounds to me, that YOU are doing the right thing for you, your husband and your Gmen - you need to nurture your own family now. Best wishes to you all. P.S. I am happy to be Nathan's Aussie Auntie, too!